1. "The early bird gets the worm?" They all get worms. They're all early birds--too early, frankly, for my taste.... But any bird who decided to sleep in would starve. Or have to go home and throw a chick out of the nest so that the rest of the family could survive off of his slacker 8 AM earnings.
2. Why is it that, no matter how much I rush in the morning, I can take no shower shorter than 15 minutes? It makes no difference that I feel like I'm moving at the speed of light. At the end of the process, the time elapsed is always 15 minutes. Maybe that's just the amount of time it takes to accomplish the moderate cleanliness to which I aspire.
3. The reflection of my face on the bottom of my coffee mug looks funny.
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